Dear Steve and Shirley,
My boyfriend is the best for me emotionally. He tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful inside and out and totally makes me feel like a super model. He's a fledgling musician and loves to play for me; he even wrote me a song. I have never felt so loved by another man. He and my daughter get along great and he respects the relationship she has with her father, my ex-husband. He is also the best looking man I have ever been with. However, he is broke. I have to take "bird baths" whenever I stay over at his place because the shower is broken, the floors are sinking in and I don't feel comfortable bringing my little one there. Since his shower doesn't work his hygiene is a bit questionable and I especially hate it when I have to force him to take a shower. There was a period of time in our relationship where I was the one who was paying for dates, his groceries and other things, because he was in between jobs. I got behind on my bills from supporting him. He even damaged my car and I don't think he'll ever pay to get it fixed. I kept helping him out because he's a good guy and treated me well, but I resented how he refused to be self-sufficient and constantly asking me for favors. He explained that when he has the money, he will be there for me. I take him to five star restaurants and he takes me to a cash only diner. My friends don't like him because he's outspoken, seems like a scrub and comes off as rude. My mom thinks he's just miserable and my dad doesn't want anything to do with him because he doesn't have a degree or any interest in going to school, but my daughter loves him. In the mean time he got steady employment and he wants us to move in together, but I think he may be using me to get out of his bad situation. I think about the other stable men that accept the fact that I have a child and still want to take me out. I really wanted to cheat but it would take too much time and energy to lie and cover my tracks. I do love him, but I'm just so put off with him being so needy of my time and my money. I don't want to grow even more resentful and become condescending and hurt him. He's a wonderful guy but I keep going back and forth in my head about what could have been and what could be with the others if I chose them and pull the plug on this relationship. Should I just end it?